seputar bus 95c

(sambil mendengarkan 'lukisan pagi' oleh tohpati dan shakila)

pagi ini...

anak kecil itu naik bus lagi

masih dengan wajah lugunya

masih dengan gandengan tangan ibunya

kali ini mereka berdiri bersandar pada tiang

erat sang bunda memastikan kenyamanan ananda

masih teringat kemarin mereka bercanda

ibu mengelitiki si anak

si anak tertawa kegirangan

lalu akhirnya lelah dan bersandar pada lengan ibunya

sore ini...

sepasang kekasih berjalan berdampingan

usianya tak muda lagi, terurai dari rambut yg memutih

sang istri menyimpan sisa-sisa kecantikannya

sang suami dengan celana pendek dan kaus hampir tak berlengan,

pun topi pet menyiratkan hasrat muda yang belum pudar

tak bergandengan, namun berbincang ringan

tanpa beban, walau jalan mulai menanjak

kantong belanjaan di tangan,

turun dari bus dengan melenggang

langkahnya pasti, penuh harapan

oh betapa indah kehidupan... hanya 20 menit menumpang bus nomor 95c, namun sungguh kaya pemandangan yang dapat kurasa... tawa merdu yang kudengar... segala buat ku menghela napas panjang dan kembali bersyukur pada Yang Kuasa... terima kasih untuk tumpangan bus hari ini :)

inginku, pertiwi

tujuh belas agustus dua ribu sepuluh

bukan bermaksud aku berkeluh,

namun hati ini malu penuh

bukannya mengunjungi sang saka

malah kupasang rok batik belaka

sajikan masakan ibunda tanda bersuka

apa yang telah kubuat untukmu, pertiwi?

tiada pun sekecil biji sesawi

kali ini kan kugunakan waktu hingga bawa arti

hingga suatu hari saat kukembali

kiranya ada buah yang bisa kau nikmati

selamat hari jadi, indonesia

merdekalah pikiran manusiamu

merdekalah jiwa yang masih merana

merdekalah hati terharu-biru

berkibarlah senantiasa di segala pulau

dan kian harumlah namamu selalu

monthlyversary (a note to fibrina bian rhapsodia)

a month has passed

and i still have no idea what to write, bai :)

partly because my soul (might be) struggling inside

or i am just turning into some ignorant head

the very first day i arrived,

i promised myself that i wouldn’t follow these people’s manic pace

i decided to maintain my laid-back life,

never ever let myself contaminated by this craziness

then i got lost hundred times

feeling exhausted every time i arrived home

dizziness crept over my head whenever i found the crowds

and i felt eerie watching how people were changed

well, i don’t know how they looked like before,

but for sure they now look unnatural -

the makeover seems to be their biggest failure

the city brings an impression that everything is easy to get

everyone wears the brands, just as casually as

they don’t mind if the rain pours and wets their branded stuffs :)

but inside, i am wondering if they are ‘wealthy’ enough to feel things,

to appreciate what the nature has provided,

to sense that a cry is sometimes needed to heal the soul

so this very second i thank you, my pure-hearted sister

for reminding me to post something here

you won’t believe that i just realized

how writing could help me to survive -

just when this last sentence was typed :)

hong kong, end of july 2010

some 'westerners' i recently met

guy no.1:

he was born in australia, raised in an indonesian family

a second year commerce student, but constantly reading and learning about philosophy

quiet, observant, and inside was all but his own way of thinking

actively participating at church, but has his own perspective of 'belief'

guy no.2:

he is completely aware that he's under the condition called 'slavery'

but he knows what he wants in the future

he's determined that he'll be leaving the country in certain period of time

and he is confident of what he is going to do next

believing in nature, despite the pollution he's surrounded by

prefers to live in a remote island, gets acquainted with the forest and beach and frogs and mosquitos

there are many things i learnt from both.

1. how to classify things in your life: money, passion, interest, love, everything - it's all perfectly well organized. every sacrificed thing worth it.

2. keep your life simply natural. be simple. be humble. machinery won't keep you alive. nature will.

3. ... will figure out how to express them by words :)

sunday morning, smile is rolling

meet pak sugeng :)

this picture was taken a few months ago by a friend of mine’s blackberry. we were having breakfast at one of our fave spots - bubur tanjung, menteng. pak sugeng played a javanese sitar while humbly singing a love song (at least that’s what i can capture from some familiar javanese words). back then, i was so eager to take his pic, but too shy to approach him personally.

today, after a month of absence, i had my fave chicken porridge back. and this time i got a sweet chance to meet pak sugeng again. as he drew himself closer, i smiled and nodded my head. and there, he started his playing on the pentatonic melody. wish to digest the song and enjoy it more profoundly, i decreased my eating tempo.

after finishing a gentle song, i thanked him as handing a few pieces of paper to him. then we began to converse. asking him some questions about his sitar, he offered me to buy it. he is about to go home, paying for his kid’s examination fee, thus buying his sitar would be helpful. i was really tempted, but again i didn’t bring enough money (although he said i could pay a down payment and complete it when he’s back in jakarta) and i don’t want to take advantage of his kind offer (at first he didn’t set the price, he let me pay voluntarily as much as i could afford, but i insisted him to let me know the basic price because i had no idea how much it costs). finally he gave me his business card so i could contact him anytime needed.

sunday morning, smile is rolling. the sky seems even bluer than any other days. maybe it’s only an effect of a very special encounter with a simple guy, which i believe has a genuine heart. or maybe jakarta’s sky is really brighter today.

today i was so me!

these are what i wore today:

my mom's old cotton shirt which i just found yesterday when she was cleaning up her closet. 'totally washed out', mom complaint. yet i kept tucking it off the pile. we don't share the definition of 'comfort' - dealt with it.

an old pair of stretch baggy pants which never failed to accompany me on kathak dance class. it was a souvenir i bought for myself on a training in bangkok a few years ago. patpong market and its vibrant night life... oh and i clearly remember the price of these pants - 100 bath only! :)

a black belt which is originally attached to a raincoat i barely wore (well, i wore it once and my colleague said it's only suitable for places like new york. but hey no, i never regret buying it. i fell in love with it, and i am still now whenever i try to put it on and walk in it...... at home.)

recently-bought red suede shoes which happened to be my fave stuff. earlier, they hurt my feet. thanks to band-aids we have mended our relationship.

a wooden bracelet with colorful batik prints on it. i got it on last vacation in jogja. enjoying the colors and patterns, i feel like coming back to my root.

i love can feel everything i wore today. and this feeling is unbeatable, even when a friend noticed that it was not quite appropriate to dress this way at (our) school. it's way too comfortable that i am not afraid of anything else. come to think of it, i believe i've just understood what confidence means.

blanket

oh blanket, please come to me
i wanna hug you and talk through my tears
here i have been lost in the sea of desire
when everything in this world is beyond my understanding
and all i can do is holding you tight until the time is right
surrounded by your warmth, let me catch my breath,


i'll try to surrender