a cup of boiled coffee

You know time will heal
But you ain’t patient enough
The moon has gone to sleep
The sun’s shown her mighty grin
But you refuse to open your eyes

The questions that are never answered
The heartache that’s never revealed
The fire that’s still burning
Inside, deep and dark
Like boiled coffee in a mug that remains closed
Noone dares to open it
Noone cares to have a sip

The pleasure of being hurt
You wish you were swallowed by the coldness
You know time will heal
But you ain’t patient enough

butterfly

Beautiful butterfly
Oh she looks so shy
Never she realized that she got everyone’s eye

Oh marvelous butterfly
Used to fly so high
Until she landed here and fell in love

I hope she knows how blessed are
Other creatures when she’s nearby
And on this very special day
We’ll ask…

Butterfly, butterfly, in the sky
Butterfly, butterfly, flying high
The scent you spray
Graceful’s your way
One sweet day
There’ll come your better half…
This is what we pray…
On this very special day….
Our butterfly…


(on vanessa lloyd's 29th birthday)

with You

For when I walk with You
I feel there’s nothing so blue
Be insanely true
Touch my days just like dew

You put that smile back on
This gloomy face

Place the stars in my eyes
All the fear you’ve replaced
With the words so calm….


Nowhere else I would run to
But You

stranger

stranger
i hate you when you show
your mystifying face

bet you come
just to screw up
all things i've been striving for

oh stranger
if you ever
had a brain to consider
and a heart to ponder
then i'd just get o'er
with you!

typhonic

(sigh...)
here i am stranded
not 'cos i'm blinded
by the misfortunes in my life

(sigh...)
can't i see clearly
foggy yet twisted
ready to escape but i'm stranded

here
i'm stuck in the well
grounded, inconsolable
finding your loved ones don't really love
one another anymore

this time it's not just a gloomy me
another role has to be played
and the game of life needs to be rolled

i know i should

spitting my feelings out
i know i should
letting you know how much joy
you've brought into my life

it was safely kept
locked like i would never regret
should i shout it loud
and give it a shot,
then i might not be this drowned

some people say good bye with tears
some others lightly wave their hands
but the last thing you did
was sitting me down
listening i was there
to a song - charming as a poem

i could barely smile
all the memories started to tease
the tears streamed down this face
and i closed my eyes
here inside torn apart

to send my very blessing
being true though so blue
to be happy for you
i know.... i should

[wish not] a gift

have you ever felt
that you have a gift
but you wish that it was not a gift
or at least not merely was
?

aku pulang

malam itu begitu istimewa
umbul-umbul dan bendera berkibar lantang
bajaj berbaris rapi bak pagar bagus menyambut tamu
angin hangat berdesir ringan
bulan berpijar terang,
dan aku pun tersenyum lebar
seraya menghela napas panjang...
aku pulang.

kala sosok wanita kuat itu penat
coba kutahan diriku terjaga
menemani sang lelaki tua kesayangan
... setidaknya hanya itu yang bisa kubuat
sosok raja yang sekarang kembali muda
karena bebannya tak lagi terasa

kala malam lelah dan enggan sudah bercanda
beduk ditabuh dan segenap insan bersama
berkumandang menyorakkan panggilan ibadah
hentakannya menyalak, hingga jangan ada yang terlewat

duhai ibukota
duhai kampungku tercinta
kau tetap luar biasa!

the lost girl

the lost girl: why am i here, Lord? what am i doing? i know i sort of asked You for this, but now I'm not so sure anymore. they're just being unfair and i'm struggling with my ego - trying to justify everything that has happened in my current life. should i endure the pain and believe that it'll toughen me up? should i give in and run to a land of nowhere? release me, oh God, for i can't torture myself this way. my heart is missing. my brain is fighting. but there's no way i'm going to give only a half part of me.

Him: no worries, kid. I got a plan. keep your chin up!

:)

m'am morie

it all started by a glance
oh dear handset, how u can be meanie sometimes
the screen showed me the date
and i was suddenly disturbed

strong memory,
how do you consider yourself,
...a blessing or a curse?

daddy,
now i've learnt to understand
how hard it was for you
when all of a sudden your memory delivered you
to a place you were before...

so let me get this clear, m'am morie
where were you when we made all the efforts
just to recall you?
and you came back just to tease us,
just to torture these innocent souls

and everything becomes manic!

oh well...
am not telling you not to come again, m'am...
instead, remain strong and fit
but let me ask you a favor,
dress yourself up in a funny way next time

why not being monster? exhausting.
then suffered will both of us be.

....after four years....

sometimes God gave you a dream to pursue
however, He didn't let you make it happen easily
years after years you waited...
hoping that that year would be the one, the right time
but life is many times ain't that easy

later you realized He keeps the fire burning
and yes, you just couldn't help thanking Him
sweet is the process, amazing is the journey
every second counts, every progress pumps you up
excitement oh excitement... i can feel you!

facebook effect

you were worn out. stress from work, constantly unsolved problems at home, uncertain future, other things which burden you and cause fatigue - not sure where they appeared from. you lived your life normally but everything seemed like surreal.

then you signed your facebook in. randomly looked through the pictures of your old friends. some of them just got married, some others had just given birth to beautiful babies. those smiles of 'happy' people affected you. you pulled up your lips a bit and smiled. you read some funny comments on those pictures and there you found yourself giggling.

suddenly you inhaled different air. things became more real. slowly you felt there's no more membrane which separated yourself from the globe. this time everything is real. nothing has changed, but your mind has got clear :)

thanks to facebook, with all the contents which are not necessarily true, you got an inspiration to land back to the world.

The Empress of Byzantium

Today I cry for you
Oh poor beautiful soul
With purely innocent heart
And a never-dimmed smile
No matter how badly people hurt you
But your love never fails

The blood which runs in your veins,
Runs in mine too
But not even a bit I’m wise like you
If you’re an angel, I’m sure it’s true
For you never let me stew

Oh poor beautiful soul
My heart breaks into pieces
When I ponder over your tears
Why do they take so much from you
While you never stop giving the best of you

And when you feel that you’ve no rights
Everything is not a pretty sight
There you sit still, never shift
Til u experience an enormous uplift
Being a sincere God’s gift

?

one question a day. when it pops out, neglect it not. have a brainstorming session - with a partner if you're lucky enough to find one, or with your very own head if time and space limit your existence. that keeps us healthy. that helps us grow. even you fall asleep and still couldn't figure out the answer, but you're definitely on the way... and an on-the-way is always better than a never-start.

enjoy exploring the beauty of free mind!